


An Absence of Limoncello

by versus_versus



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Hux graduated so now it's 'just after college au', M/M, One Shot, Reunions, but you don't have to read that first, holidays away from family are hard, or...it was, set in the universe from Different Forms of Combat, soft endings for horrible characters, sort of a holiday fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 06:35:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9059833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/versus_versus/pseuds/versus_versus
Summary: During the holiday season, Hux finds himself missing home. Kylo attempts to make amends with his mother. It's the closest thing to happy that they're going to get.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fic takes place after the events of [Different Forms of Combat](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5819314). You don't have to read that first, all you really need to know is that Hux and Kylo have moved in together in DC, Kylo is still not on speaking terms with his mother, and Hux's family is in Chicago.
> 
> Happy holidays if you're reading it over the holidays!

“So. Thanksgiving is coming up.”

Kylo looked up from where he was sprawled on the living room floor, sketchbook open and covered in an angular grid. “You want to do something?”

“I mean, it’s the holidays. We really ought to do something with family.”

Kylo looked a bit lost. “We can look, but flying back to Chicago for Thanksgiving and the weekend is going to be…rough. Especially if you’re trying to get last minute tickets.”

“Actually, I was thinking about maybe having something here.”

“But I thought you wanted to do something with family…” Kylo’s face shot up to look at him as what Hux was saying finally clicked. “Wait. No.”

“You’ve got family here, are you just going to keep ignoring her?”

“We’ve been through this before, there’s no possible way I can make up with my mother.”

“You should try.”

“Why?”

“You can’t tell me you moved out here with no intention to ever talk to her.”

He sighed. “I know.”

“She still has pictures of you on her desk, you know. And her wall.”

“No.”

“You at least need to let her know you’re in the DC area.”

“You’re not my moth…” Kylo stopped, glaring. “Fine. I’ll give her a call.”

* * *

Two days later, they were sitting in the living room waiting for dinner to finish in the oven, when Hux spoke up. “Have you called her yet?”

Kylo looked at the ceiling. “No.”

“Is there anything I can do to…help?”

“I want to say no, but the actual answer is that you can push me into calling her. Bitch at me til I do it.”

“How about you do it right now?”

Kylo spun on him. “What??”

“You’re here with me, even if everything goes wrong we can sit down and have dinner and talk about other stuff.”

“I don’t…”

“You told me to push you. I’m pushing you.”

“I hate you.”

“I know.” Hux patted the couch cushion next to himself. “Come on, bite the bullet and do it. Stop being stubborn.”

Kylo slumped next to him and dug his phone out of his pocket. They sat on the couch for a couple minutes in silence. Kylo stared at his phone like it might explode in his hands, and Hux wedged his feet into the space between the couch cushions and Kylo’s back.

“You can’t actually expect…”

“I’m right here. If it all goes to hell, it’s alright. We’ll spend the evening doing something nice.”

The miserable look on Kylo’s face almost smoothed at that. “Promise?”

“Promise. Anything you like.”

Kylo thumbed to his mother’s contact information and called, as if he might back out if he waited any longer. There was a faint sound of ringing, then a moment of silence on the other end of the line before a burst that sounded like, “Ben??!” and then something suspiciously like a sob. The volume was loud enough on his phone that Hux could hear most of the conversation, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it.

“Hey mom. Um. I’m…I’m in town. Do you think…I was wondering if…”

There was a rush of noise Hux couldn’t interpret and he caught something that sounded suspiciously like “…meeting…” in the mix, but there was the bang of a door closing and then quieter sounds that Hux couldn’t quite hear.

“Yeah, it’s me. No, I mean…it’s…” Kylo floundered. “Yeah. Uh. No. No, I can’t do dinner but…maybe you’d want to meet up…uh…I don’t know…for coffee instead?”

Hux choked on his tea in surprise.

After Kylo wrapped the conversation up and hung up, he stared at the wall for a full minute in silence before blurting, “What was I supposed to do? She wanted to go get dinner, it’s hard to escape dinner and if they don’t bring the check you’re trapped and…” Kylo was babbling, the pulse in his throat throbbing visibly from the anxious rush of adrenaline that had blown his eyes wide.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright. You’re going to be alright, I promise.”

“What am I going to do?”

“You’re going to go get coffee with her,” Hux took his hand, trying to ground him. “And you’ll figure out the next step from there.”

“Fuck.”

* * *

Saturday morning, Kylo was all jitters and nerves. He was up long before the crack of dawn and Hux woke to cold sheets. When Hux pulled himself from bed at about 6 to the sound of the shower. By the time Hux rose to check on him, he found him leaning against the counter in the kitchen, staring at the floor with a cup of coffee sitting next to him on the surface.

“You doing alright?”

Kylo was unusually pale, as if all the blood had drained from his face. “What if we still hate each other?”

“She doesn’t hate you, I’m telling you.” Hux got close and tucked his arms into Kylo’s open sweater, tucking his chin into the crook of his neck and pressing their chests together for warmth. “You don’t have to take my word for it, she wouldn’t have agreed to meet up with you if she hated you.”

It was a long moment before Kylo wrapped his arms around his back and sighed. “I’m letting my mind run away with things.”

“Need distraction?” Hux nipped at his throat, getting half a laugh from him.

“Please,” Kylo said.

“Come back to bed. You don’t have to meet up with her til 10.”

“I’ve already showered,” he said aimlessly.

“You can shower again. You need to chill.”

* * *

He sat in the coffee shop, desperately wanting to scratch his skin off and shed both Ben and Kylo. An anonymous face in a coffee shop like most others you’d find on a side street like this. Small, a bit hip if you pretended, but mostly kitschy and cramped.

Each time the bells hanging from the door rang, he looked up, his heart pounding in his throat. When she finally appeared, he wanted to sink into the walls, as if he could avoid her by becoming one with the shitty wallpaper.

She’d gone a bit grey over the last few years, but she was still grace and determination wrapped in steel. She seemed to be losing a bit of height, either that or he’d grown more than he’d realized. She looked around the shop for a minute, peering into corners and cubbies until her eyes finally lit on him.

And Hux was right.

Of course Hux was right.

Her mouth split into a wry smile and she walked toward him with that sort of gentle dignity she seemed to carry on her shoulders. They stared at each other for a minute in silence before he broke it, forcing out the words that seemed to stick in his throat.

“Hey mom.”

“Ben.” She looked down at him and she looked like she might cry. “I’m going to hug you. It’s not a question, it’s a warning, so you better tell me now if that’s not alright.”

“That’s…that’s alright.” He climbed to his feet and just sort of…let it happen.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek to his chest and it took everything he had not to just crumble to pieces. A sob seemed to gather in his chest and he smothered it, curling down around her instead and just staying there awhile.

She broke the silence, patting what she could reach of his back. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” His voice cracked and he wanted to die of embarrassment.

Her grip loosened and she smiled up at him again. “So. Coffee?”

“You think this is going to be that easy?” His voice threatened to crack again, and he swallowed away the sound.

She shrugged. “No, but we have to start somewhere.”

They talked over hot drinks, trying to catch up but quickly realizing there was altogether too much they had to tell each other. They pointedly ignored the topic of Han’s death, the one thing that had driven a final wedge between them. She was absolutely thrilled that he was living in the area, and although he didn’t mention Hux, her happiness at that news alone was enough to convince him he’d made the right decision to follow Hux to the east coast.

Hours passed in a blink, and at 3 her phone buzzed a notification. She glanced down at it and frowned. “I’ve got another meeting in about half an hour. How would you feel about doing this again? Or you can come over to my place for dinner this week, I could make your uncle’s quiche?”

“I…I think I’d like that,” he said to his own surprise. “I’ve usually got Tuesday and Thursday evenings free, would either of those work?”

* * *

Getting back to the apartment, he felt as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Hux wasn’t home, but it did nothing to dampen his mood. He went for a run, got back, and started prepping a meal.

When Hux finally got home, it was nearly eight. He came in looking worn thin, but brightened as he saw Kylo. Hux put his messenger bag down and hesitated, smelling the looked at him, half-dazed. “You made dinner.”

“I felt like cooking. Hungry?”

The look of confusion didn’t last, replaced by something hungry in his expression. “Starved.”

They settled to eat in silence, and once they’d each cleared their plates Hux looked at him worriedly. “How are you doing?”

“Great, actually.”

“Your mom…?”

“We’re going to do dinner next week.”

“You’re kidding?!?” he stared at Kylo for a moment before grinning.

* * *

Two visits later, Kylo decided it was now or never. He’d ask her to do some sort of Thanksgiving meal at their place or he’d chicken out.

“So…you know I’m living here, but I’m…uhm…I’m also seeing someone.”

Leia almost dropped the serving spoon. “You what?”

“I’m seeing someone and…”

“Are you going to let me meet him?”

He smiled sheepishly. “We were actually wondering…if maybe you’d come over for Thanksgiving.”

“Oh, Ben, of course. I’ll need to shuffle some things, but of course. Tell me about him, when did you meet? What’s he like? Are you…?”

* * *

Two weeks before Thanksgiving, Hux brought an invite home for the Holiday Gala at work. He left it on the counter, where it stared at Kylo. Particularly the blank where Hux could write in a plus one.

When he got home, Hux seemed pretty relaxed about it. “It’s an offer, if it makes you uncomfortable, by no means do you have to. Your mom will know by then, I don’t see any reason why couldn’t you go as my plus one. Again, though, not if you’re uncomfortable.”

“I mean…are you alright with having me as your date?”

Hux kissed him and grinned. “Absolutely.”

“It won’t cause any issues?” Kylo didn’t flinch away from their past problems. “I know you had issues with your dad…”

Hux shook his head. “That’s a bit different. I came out to him several times, he just…forgot. It happens. At work, there shouldn’t be any issues. I’m out to pretty much everyone in the office. They know I’m seeing a guy.”

The thought of Hux, getting dressed up to take him on a date, was intoxicating. Kylo caught him in a hug, pulling his hips close. “I’d like to see you in a suit.”

He didn’t expect the bark of laughter it drew from Hux. “Do you even own a suit?”

“Not one that fits. I’ll have to buy one eventually anyway.”

He didn’t tell Hux what he was planning with his mother for the next Wednesday.

* * *

Even after they’d gone to see Han’s grave, he didn’t tell Hux. It had gone smoothly, at least, as smoothly as it could have. The new plot was nice. There weren’t any trees nearby, and Kylo missed the willow alongside his old plot more than anything. Otherwise, it was nice enough. Neither he nor his mother had spoken much while they were there. There wasn’t much to say.

Instead, when he got home, he found Hux bundled up on the couch, working. He struggled with the weight on his chest for awhile, then decided there was no reason to fight it.

“Hey, woah, what’s going on?”

Kylo climbed onto the couch next to Hux and scooted close, wrapping his arms around him. Not enough to stop him from working, just enough to feel close. “Please?”

“What’s up…?”

“I’d really like to give you a hug, and I get that you’re busy, but you can just sit here and work, just…let me sit here too.”

Hux twisted, trying to see his face. “Are you alright?”

“I will be.”

Hux sighed and grabbed his tablet, settling between Kylo’s legs and leaning back against his chest. Kylo’s arms wrapped around his chest, almost protectively, and he slumped down, pressing his face into the nape of Hux’s neck.

“If you want to talk…”

“No.”

“I’m just letting you know.”

“I don’t.”

“That’s alright.”

They sat like that for the better part of an hour before Kylo sighed and spilled the other uncomfortable news he had. “She invited me to the Holiday Gala as her plus one.”

Hux blinked and put his tablet down. “Wait, the same gala as…?”

“Yeah.”

His mouth twisted and he snorted. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t laugh, but that’s…”

“It’s alright, you can.”

Hux chuckled. “What did you tell her?”

“I told her I’d think about it.”

“Hmm. I think you should take her up on it.”

“What?”

“I think you should go with her. She’d be happy, I’m sure she’d enjoy being able to show you off. I’ll be able to handle myself alone. Besides, it’s not like I’m really going to be alone, is it?”

“Hux…”

“I’ll still be there, it’ll be alright.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely.” Hux’s smile grew into a full blown grin. “With the caveat that you have to let me teach you how to dance.”

“…what.”

* * *

When Kylo woke up the next morning, he turned over to stare into the darkness of the ceiling. Thursday. Thanksgiving. In less than twelve hours, they’d be having dinner. His mother would find out who he was dating, for better or worse. Anxiety or no, it was happening.

He turned over to look at Hux, asleep on his stomach. Hux, who had been killing himself at work all week in order to make sure he could afford not to work from home on his two days off. Hux, who had dragged him off to bed the night before and gotten him off not once, but twice before letting him pass out.

Kylo climbed from bed, still feeling pleasantly fucked-out. He turned the coffee maker on and went out to the small deck, looking out into the darkness and letting the chill flutter through the flannel of his pants. When the coffee was done, he took a bar stool out to the porch and downed a cup, watching the very palest bits of light suffuse the horizon, gradually being soaked up by the clouds until a sort of dreary overcast daylight that seemed to be typical of east coast November mornings.

Two cups of coffee were enough to wake him up, but not enough to warm the chill that had settled in his bones. The air smelled of smoke, someone in one of the other apartments having their morning cigarette. He was done with being outside.

He went back in, getting in the fridge and peeling back the paper to check the dry rub he’d used to prep a small rib roast. After, a hot shower chased the cold from his skin, and he climbed back in bed with Hux for awhile, luxuriating in the comfort of a warm bed after the chill outside.

He cuddled up close, enjoying the smell of sleep as he buried his face in the nape of Hux’s neck. Hux stretched with a groan of self-satisfaction and went limp-limbed again “You can open the blinds, if you like. I’m awake.”

He hopped out of bed and twisted the blinds to let just enough of the pale morning light in. Hux shifted and turned around and Kylo climbed back under the covers, facing him and tangling their legs together. “You know, I think I’d like to wake up like this for a very long time,” Hux said as he blinked toward full wakefulness. He gave Kylo a surprisingly genuine smile, still not awake enough to rein in his reactions. Like this, Hux was soft and relaxed, and it was unusual, although not unwelcome.

“Like what?”

“Hm.” He sighed and curled into the pocket of warmth between them. “Well, I can smell coffee, and you came back to bed and you’re nice and warm. And it’s a bit sunny out, which means it’s not disgustingly early. And there’s…” he yawned, “there’s a lot to do today, it’s Thanksgiving, and we’re going to tell your mom, and I probably need to work from home for a couple hours this weekend and make sure those reports have been submitted because I don’t want to go in to the office, but…not yet. I get to enjoy this, right now. Also, you smell like the shower.” Hux blinked and looked at him, concerned. “Wait. Were you smoking this morning?”

“No, someone else outside. But I showered,” Kylo huffed, “I thought it would be gone.”

“No it’s, it’s alright. Just wondered.”

“Oh. I mean, I just wondered. My mom smokes every once in awhile but it usually means she's really worked up or worried about something, and that was...I don't know, the vibe I was getting from you. Is it because of your mom?”

“Yeah.”

“It’ll be over soon enough. Things will be work out. I’ll be there with you” Hux tucked his head into the pillow and watched him. Muted sunlight lit everything up, washing out Hux’s hair and skin and lighting his eyes up pale green. It slowly dawned on Kylo that everything about this was _right._ Everything about waking up like this, from the light to the coffee to the heavy warmth wrapped around him, it was right. It wasn’t just right, it was _perfect._

The wave of emotion that surged in his chest caught him unexpectedly, like a tsunami instead of a tide. They lay there awhile, until Kylo couldn’t keep his hands off him any longer.

He crawled below the blankets, dragging faint trails down Hux’s sides with his nails and Hux groaned. “You don’t…”

“Yes, but I want to. Besides, this is payback for last night.” He dropped lower and dragged the waistband of Hux’s boxers down.

The quiet whine of, “fuuuck, Kylo…” made it more than worth it.

* * *

When they finally got up, it was a matter of showering (again, in Kylo’s case) and starting food prep. There were only three of them, but Kylo wouldn’t serve anything less than perfect. Hux followed his instructions to the letter, chopping, mixing, and measuring as specified.

It was far from relaxed, but it felt like home. Hux put a holiday playlist on and cleaned when he managed a break from cooking, he worked on tidying up the apartment and set the table.

Kylo was starting to feel like everything was going to plan. He went to the bathroom and came back to find Hux standing in the kitchen looking like he’d been hit by a bolt of lightning. “What’s wrong?”

“I have to go to the store.”

“What for?”

“I just,” Hux’s throat bobbed and he looked like he might crumble, “I have to go to the store, I’ll be right back. I have time, right?”

“Yeah, an hour or so. What’s going on?”

“There’s a painful lack of limoncello on this table, and my mom would kill me if she knew.”

“Wait, what?”

“Just…just trust me, let me do this. I have to go to the store.” Before Kylo could ask what he meant, he’d snatched his keys off the counter and thrown his coat on as he rushed out the door.

* * *

He drove out to Maryland to escape the DC liquor laws that prohibited sales on Thanksgiving. His phone lay blessedly silent in the cupholder, but he still felt frazzled as he snagged a parking spot and headed toward the apartment.

To his surprise, he inadvertently intercepted Leia on the way in, starting and then smiling at the exclamation of, “Oh! Hux! What are you doing here?”

“I live here…?”

“You live in the same building as my son, did you know that?”

He thought fast. No fun in giving the game up before it was obvious. “Oh?”

“We didn’t get along for awhile, but he moved into the area and we’ve…well, we’ve been trying to make things work. We don’t always see eye to eye, we’ve gotten into a couple arguments that I’m surprised he hasn’t turned tail and run off again, but…so far, we’re making it work.”

“So you’re visiting for Thanksgiving?”

“Exactly! And,” her phone buzzed and she held up a hand. “Sorry, just a second. Hello? Yes, I’m here.” She paused. “Oh no need, someone let me in, I’ll be up in a minute. Sixth floor, right?” Hux held the elevator for her and she continued. “No, it’s alright. Mmhm, I’ll see you in a few.” She hung up and glanced at the floors lit up on the panel. She waved a hand at the woman that asked her which floor, saying, “No thank you dear, it’s already headed there.”

Three of them got off on the sixth floor, and Hux followed her off. She seemed to be focused on keeping her composure, and she didn’t really notice him. She walked down the hall, and Hux followed, observing that she wore the same steely bearing in her personal life as she did at work. He could understand why she and Kylo clashed.

She looked up at the number on the door and looked around for a pager before stepping back and pulling her phone out again, no doubt to call Kylo.

For a moment, Hux fought the urge to be an ass, but ultimately gave in and decided to go for broke. Kylo was going to kill him, but he couldn’t stop himself. He stepped around her, keys in hand, with a smooth, “Here, let me get that for you.”

“Oh, no need for that, my son’s…” Leia stopped dead as the door swung open under his hand.

* * *

The lock turned in the door and Kylo glanced up from where he’d been at the table, where his phone had just started to buzz. Hux was home early, just in time it sounded like.

He didn’t expect to look up and see Hux wearing a shit-eating grin, his mother right behind him with her phone in hand and wearing a look of astonishment.

“Oh my god…?” Leia stood in the doorway, mouth agape. “You two are…how long…?”

Kylo floundered for a moment, trying not to laugh at Hux’s expression. “Surprise?”

**Author's Note:**

> Questions, comments, corrections, or concerns more than welcome!


End file.
